Missed a Paycheck? How To Talk to Your Mortgage Lender Before It’s Too Late

Even one missed paycheck can upend a homeowner’s finances—but silence can make it worse.

As the government shutdown leaves an estimated 1.4 million federal workers without pay and layoffs accelerate across white-collar industries, common advice is that workers who are worried about or have just missed a paycheck should get in touch with their mortgage lenders, utility companies, and any other debtors before trouble strikes.

“When anyone misses a paycheck, one of the most important things isn’t perfect timing but open and honest communication,” says Caleb Reits, co-founder of City Lights Home Buyers in Grand Rapids, MI. “People miss payments all the time. In my experience working with Michiganders in tough financial spots, lenders will still work with you if they keep hearing from you.”

But initiating these conversations may be easier said than done: Whom do you contact, what do you say, what answers are you looking for, and what documentation do you need?

We set out to answer those questions, and to make this stressful conversation a little easier for anyone balancing a mortgage payment against a missed paycheck.

Step 1: Call before you miss a payment

All the experts we spoke to emphasized the importance of picking up the phone before you miss a payment.

“The first and most important thing a homeowner can do is to contact their lender directly, as soon as they recognize that their check is going to be late or their job situation is going to change,” says Sain Rhodes, real estate expert at Clever Offers. “Lenders would rather deal with customers who take the initiative to contact them than those who miss a payment and then sweat out solutions.”

Not only will you build goodwill with your lender, but you’ll also have more options if you reach out before you fall behind.

“Timing is critical to your credit,” Rhodes adds. “Credit scores can be preserved simply by placing the call."

In most cases, lenders will charge a late fee but wait 30 days before reporting a late payment to a credit bureau. And while that grace period will buy you some time before your credit takes a hit, it's no reason to wait. Reaching out to your lender sooner rather than later gives it more options to help you.

“While not required, some lenders may be able to do a forbearance,” explains mortgage broker Carlos Scarpero. “If [you] wait until after the missed payment, then the late fee will most likely not be waived.”

Step 2: What to say when you call

It seems simple enough in theory: Just make a quick call and do yourself a huge favor. But when you go to pick up the phone, you may find it harder than you imagined to initiate a conversation.

Fortunately, it’s better to start off in writing, says Reits. Reaching out in writing can be a little less intimidating, and give you the space to organize your thoughts. It also starts a written record.

“Be clear, concise, and specific when possible,” he says. “Be sure to mention your income was interrupted due to the government shutdown or other circumstances, try to include your last paystub or notice, and ask about any hardship or forbearance programs—it helps to know these by name before going in.”

But emails slip through the cracks, and if you expect to miss a payment in the coming days, you may not have time to wait for a response. In these cases, it’s worth picking up the phone for a fast follow-up after sending the email.

For employees affected by the government shutdown, Rhodes advises beginning the call by saying, “I’m a federal employee and have been furloughed during the government shutdown. I look forward to my next pay date on [insert date], although I'd like to consider my options sooner rather than miss my payment. What kinds of assistance programs do you have available?”

As for what to expect on the call, Rhodes says that servicers typically have formal documentation processes, so have your furlough notice, pay statement or any other communication related to the impact of the shutdown.

Step 3: Always get it in writing

So, you’ve started the conversation, but you need written communication before you can count on any relief.

Shutdowns, layoffs, and other financial hardships can drag on. Time allows for mistakes and administrative errors to seep in. But written confirmation can help remedy any misunderstandings, says Rhodes.

“I think it's essential to have it in writing,” he says. “Ask the representative for a hardship agreement number and name. Finish by sending them a follow-up copy to their hardship agreement team, saying you need the agreement in writing within 48 hours. Write it out and send it to them via email.”

Step 4: Know your options—forbearance, modification, repayment

Since you’ve made contact, ask your lender to walk you through every form of hardship relief they offer. Shutdowns are typically short-term disruptions, but the right plan can prevent long-term financial damage. 

The most common form of temporary relief is forbearance, an arrangement that lets you pause or reduce your mortgage payments for a set period without immediately triggering foreclosure.

“In addition to forbearance, it is also essential to be aware of your other alternatives,” Rhodes explains. “Some lenders have programs related to loan modifications that can change your rate or term on a more permanent basis. Others have repayment arrangements that allow you to repay the mortgage payments over several periods.”

For homeowners expecting a return to regular pay soon, forbearance may be enough. But those facing longer-term uncertainty—for example, contractors whose projects have stalled—might need to consider modification or repayment plans that stretch missed payments over future months. 

Each option comes with trade-offs, from accrued interest to extended loan terms, so it’s critical to get clear details before agreeing.

“Some government assistance is exclusively for federal employees during government shutdowns,” he added. “It is crucial to ask your lender directly: ‘What programs do you have to help borrowers who may have short-term income problems?’”

By being specific about your situation and asking about programs by name, you signal initiative and seriousness—qualities that can make lenders more willing to work with you.

Why communication matters most

When money gets tight, the instinct to retreat can be powerful, but silence is what turns a temporary setback into a lasting problem. Every expert agrees: Reaching out early isn’t just a courtesy, it’s a strategy that can save your home and your credit score.

“It is in a lender's interests to have you communicate with them during tough times because foreclosure is a costly and devastating process for them,” Rhodes says. “It is not the communicative and committed homeowner that winds up losing their homes, but those who ignore the lender and miss payments.”

Lenders want to work with borrowers who stay engaged. Even if your options are limited at first, consistent communication shows that you’re trying to resolve the issue in good faith.

The sooner you pick up the phone—or write the email—the better your odds of keeping your home and your credit intact.